Saturday, 24 August 2013

Bela's Corner: Signs That Your Boy/Girlfriend and Your BFF Are Too Close For Comfort.

1. They have one too many “inside jokes” I used to hate when people abused that “insider” hashtag on Facebook and Twitter. If the joke is so personal, get the heck off Google Chrome and chuckle it up in person. Now imagine, your boo and your best friend constantly giving each other side-eyes and getting their Def Comedy Jam on while you’re sitting there looking lost like, “What is so damn funny?” If your man cares about you, he won’t repeatedly risk your comfort level at the expense of a good punch line. If you find yourself like Drake outside of the Miami Heat locker room and never in on the joke, there’s a chance that’s not the only thing you’re not in on.

2. He/She is closer to his/her mom than you are. Remember when Patti Labelle would guest star as Dwayne Wayne’s mama on A Different World, and constantly mention how much she would’ve loved to see him get with Kimberly Reece and not Whitley Gilbert? You can’t control who his mom takes a liking to, but if they were friends long before he stopped his car in the middle of rush hour traffic to get your number, keep in mind that his mother’s opinion may matter more than you think and he could be affected by it. Be leery: His sandbox buddy may really be an unrequited crush waiting for her golden opportunity to get “chose.”

3. They repeatedly pull disappearing acts…at the same damn time. There’s a scene in Something Borrowed where the bride-to-be is looking frantically for her missing fiancé, when the fact is he spent the night in her bestie’s bed. Maybe you just attract social butterflies with demanding social calendars, but if the two people who are closest to you constantly go MIA, at the same time nonetheless, it may be more than a coincidence.
4.  He/She takes his/her side in arguments. First off, homegirl is breaking all kinds of girl code if she starts taking up for your man in the midst of a heated argument (even if you are clearly wrong). Any good friend will defend your honor before discreetly pulling you to the side to let you know you need to get it together. If all of your disagreements turn into two against one, it could be because they’re joining forces and feelings for each other.

5. He/She Constantly compares the two of you. If your man is constantly comparing you to any woman, he needs to stop playing and go get the woman he wants and stop trying to make you into her. As much as it pains me to quote her, in the words of Sweet Brown, “Ain’t nobody got time for that.”

6. He/She is his/her biggest fan on social media. Your man can’t put up a picture of his plate from Sunday dinner without her liking, following and re-tweeting it to damn death. The thirst is real, but it’s a sad day when your best friend is dehydrated (aka, thirsty). There is no reason why your girl should be spending her days memorizing your man’s page.

7. He/She sells him/herself. If she starts pimping herself when he’s in her presence, she’s either looking for validation or plotting on making him hers, and neither is a good situation. “I don’t understand why I can’t get a good man? I work, I can cook and do you see how big my behind is getting?” Sound familiar? There’s no need for her to be selling anything if there are no shoppers in the room.
8. She relies on him to carry out "Boyfriend" duties. You ever had a friend who acts like once you get a man, she’s got one too? “Is Sean around? I need my battery jumped.” “Does your man know how to put up dry wall?” “Do you think Sean can swing by my job and pick me up?” Umm, no girl. These are perks to having a man, so until you get one, I’m going to need you to back up off mine. Beware of the friend that believes she has a boyfriend by default, because she might be trying to give him boyfriend privileges as well.

9. She purposely omits chance encounters and conversations. If your dude knows more about how your day went than you do because your girl rushed to break it down to him before you did, that’s a problem. If she’s leaving out bumping into him “randomly” or random phone conversations, it could be because she feels guilty about their interactions. And people only feel guilty when they’re doing something they know they have no business doing…

10. They are inappropriate. Remember in Player’s Club when fast-behind Ebony was walking around in her drawls in front of her cousin Diamond’s boyfriend? I don’t care if your man has been coming around for decades, there have to be boundaries. That means no skipping around in towels fresh from the shower, sitting on laps, backing it up on him in the club, etc..


  1. i trust my bff bt i neva allow her get close to my boyfriends neither do i get close to hers...

  2. hahahahaha...@ getting closer to the mother than me.


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